Emotional Intelligence or EQ has been a thriving concept since Daniel Goleman’s bestselling book Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ which was published and has been a great hit since 1995.
Consider the education systems and that for decades upon decades have used IQ (Intelligence Quotient) as a basis for the person’s intelligence.
IQ is based simply from memory, mathematical patterns and logic. Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is how aware of your emotions that you are and how well you know how manage them from a psychological standpoint.
Emotional Intelligence has proven that is a more important factor for how well you succeed in your lifetime versus intelligence quotient. Success as defined in this role as the financial wealth that you go on to gain as a result of EQ verses IQ. (Far from the way that I see success)
Let’s face it though, even if you don’t go on to become super successful from a financial standpoint in your life, everyone would like to understand their emotions better and know how to not let them completely take possession of you.
Instead of taking the psychological approach that Daniel Goleman used in his book, this going to take a deeper dive into understanding your emotions from a spiritual and of higher consciousness standpoint.
Thoughts to a very large degree is what dictates our emotional energy charge. The body itself has an intelligence, and this intelligence is largely directed by the mind. An emotion is the bodies reaction to the thoughts of the mind.
The mind is a swirling vortex of thoughts, and there are many times where we do know what we are thinking. The thoughts themselves are not the main cause of emotional stress, pain and suffering it’s the lack of awareness of the thoughts.
The key difference between an unconscious person and a conscious person is that the awareness of the thinking mind. This is the first very basic principle to handling your thoughts and emotions and must not be taken for granted.
Acceptance & Detachment from Thoughts & Emotions
Next is that we must not identify (Establish who we are) with the thought or the emotions.
“Nothing that comes and goes is you.” – Eckhart Tolle
If ‘you’ believe that who you really are is the thought or the emotion, then you are only confirming the emotion.
In the present moment through mindfulness you must first accept how you are feeling. In undisturbed mindfulness you will know exactly how you are feeling in that moment and you must accept it with your complete being.
Even in a state of….
“You will not be punished for your anger; you will be punished by your anger.” ― Gautama Buddha
Everyone in the world gets irritated or angry in some basis of life. Anger may hurt others, but there is no doubt about it, anger will hurt the ones who are angry. And sometimes anger isn’t geared at anyone it’s just a state of feeling inside you about life as it pertains to this moment.
Depression is usually an intense sadness that continues to linger for different periods of time, and it doesn’t seem like there is any way out.
Being afraid to take action because of rejection or potential loss of a someone, an object or to become less as a person.
It is in these states in which we must accept that we are feeling this way, but must also realize that too shall pass just as with joy and happiness are going to pass.
When there is a deep level of acceptance to these emotions, we are building a coating peace around them. The emotions of anger, depression and fear may be hurting us from within but when we are aware, we accept….
- That we are feeling this way
- That these emotional states are not us.
- And that they will pass
We lesson the degree of the damage they are causing from within.
Peace versus Happiness
Happiness just as with fear, anger and depression is going to come and go as well. If happiness also passes than how could it be you?
When we are happy, we are perceiving life situations and circumstances to be good. Perception is largely based from the mind and established previously you are not the mind.
Peace however, is the natural state of a human being. Peace is a direct reflection of consciousness which is who you are in its entirety. Peace does not leave, but it can get become buried from the thinking-mind. In other words we can be in an unpeaceful state which is from too much mind and not enough mind-fullness. When you are in state of mindfulness, you are operating out the present moment. You cannot be here and thinking simultaneously. On the flip side you cannot have mindfulness and outside of the present moment. Mindfulness is not that you are thinking about your thoughts, it’s that your observing them, and through this observation, the present moment arises.
When you are angry, depressed and fearful with awareness you can still have a deep level of peace from within even in these states that don’t feel the greatest.
Higher Consciousness Emotional Intelligence
You are the awareness behind the thought or the emotion, NOT the thought or emotion itself. The awareness of these thoughts and emotions is consciousness and the reflection of consciousness that transcends all thoughts and emotions is peace.